Spanky Brown, I'm Jus' Sayin'

Egg-cellent or Egg-Norocious ? I Report, You Decide

Spanky Brown — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:08:08 +0000

I love eggs … one of my favorite foods. So versatile, they are the only food in the meat family that I don’t really think is meat,besides cheese and I’m cloudy over that too… I mean, I’ve never heard anybody say” hey … lemme get a slice of them eggs…” but maybe they belong there cause you can make a sandwich with em’ . Hard boiled, poached, over easy, scrambled, fried, even quiche… man I love eggs. Back in the day they were called the “Incredible Edible Egg”. You can eat em anytime, morning, noon, night… you can eat with other foods, you can cook with em’ you can paint em to let the kids find em’ at Easter. You can throw them at peoples doors on Halloween… or at your least favorite entertainer… just remember, I pack.

The expression he or she is a “good egg” is a way to say, yes… I would sleep with that person… jus’ kiddin’… just means they are of high character… good people. Or maybe they’re a “bad egg” … bad person, jackass, don’t sleep with em’ or Conservative… you choose your own but either way… one of the “Big Eggs” has been cited with trying to feed all of us who love eggs… bad eggs… this Moron “bad egg” Jack DeCoster. I can’t believe that one of the foods that’s hard to mess up is messed up because of this clown. Just so happen this “bad egg” is in charge of a lot of eggs, but he ain’t the first bad egg… Kwame Kilpatrick former Detroit Mayor, Elliot Spitzer former New York Governor lemme see President of Iran Ammadoitagain , Amy Winehouse, Bigamist Warren Jeffs… well, let’s just make it a dozen bad eggs huh?Karl Rove, freshly arrested Paris Hilton, Al Sharpton, lessee who else? Oh yeah –> uhhh yeah …I need two more… oh seeeee George Bush, Jesse Jackson, need one more …. Oh yeah those are bad eggs. Some of you are gonna say ” who are you Spanky Brown… to be judging people? Who’s good and who’s bad?” Well let’s see some “Good Eggs” …Me and my man Obleezy who don’t love Bob the Enzyte dude …Ocho Cinco , the dude who threw the shoe at “W” … The Spartan King , Popeye the Sailor Man and the list goes on and on Yup even the Bishop … but who am I to Judge?… we’re all just eggs. Some eggs are just more stupid than others …Sad to say we can’t all just be just that… you got these and these when it should be just us . am I saying eggs can stop racism? YES !!! Eat an egg… and love your neighbor… that’s the message. I’m Jus’ Sayin’…

Football’s here !!! and so are the CRAZIES !!!

Spanky Brown — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:23:12 +0000

It’s finally here… you know, before I even start this , here’s an early one for you I never knew they were kin. HEY !!! FOOTBALL IS BACK !!! and I’m excited. It is America’s sport and we all love it. Well even if you don’t, the partying around it you can’t do with any other sport . Not only is the action great, the food is ridiculous… but look who’s gonna be there————————> yup… them. Who don’t love hot women who love football. I’m a bigger college fan than the NFL, the kids really seem to play harder, and they make no money although I feel they should, the schools make all the money, they just drive nice cars… don’t know how they do it you know in college, no job, no trust fund… amazing. My Team … hell “America’s Team “ and my favorite college team Speaking which, look at this my wonderful girlfriend, who by the way is even hotter cause she had explain to me the Wildcat Offense, and she can cook… has season tickets to that. And I gotta go. That’s it and I’m looking forward to it. That’s a lot of people … which means that these folks are gonna be there too … is that Flava Flav? yup, you sure are… look at these clowns C’mon Man … who’s baby is this? He’ll grow up and shoot up a cafeteria or somethin’. Crazy… I’m a fan but goodness gracious… can you enjoy a game sitting next to this cause clothes make the “fan” you know. ladies is this really attractive or cute? Hell no !!! So I propose that they oughta have a “Fanatic” section. Regular people sit in 95% of the stadium and the other is reserved… with chicken wire around it… with plenty of sanitizer, cause you know they gotta stink, for these people. I thought sports was supposed to be fun, you know entertaining. Not crazy. I’ve always said the most rabid fans of college sports are the people who probably have never been inside and institution of higher learning… of course after years of formal education all that led to you celebrating Halloween EVERY DAMN WEEKEND !!!!

I’m not really a fan of wearing some other dude’s name on my back either. I get it… but I don’t. Never been a big fan of designer labels … I have some but their kinda discreet… and now you can have your name put on your jersey… so you can really be a member of the team.

Fans.. you gotta love em’… I will admit, I’m not a fan of big crowds anyway… unless they’re all there to see ME. That’s the narcissist in me… but at least I admit it… but look at the people in this entry… they love attention too… so don’t judge me.

So let’s all try to enjoy football season this year… basketball is great, but not really great till March… baseball is great… slow… really slow… I’m really a fan… I grew a beard once during a game but America invented it so bring a razor. Football is king, so when you’re sitting next to some moron like this guy who says it best just look at him and smile… he’s a fan… and he’s probably wondering what the hell is wrong with you too … I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

“N” Word Rules … pay attention…

Spanky Brown — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 15:45:32 +0000

Ok … just so I make myself clear here… you’re gonna see the word “some” a lot … you’re also gonna see the the word “Nigger” or “Nigga” as well… you’re gonna see a bunch of racial slurs today but they will not be slurred… I will be perfectly clear in trying to make a point. people who know and love me and who I love will get it … I hope everybody does. This may get lengthy.

So…Once again another white person has breached the “Nigger” line. You’d think that “Some” white people would have learned by now… but no. This lady is Dr. Laura Schlessinger … seemingly an intelligent woman… alas, not. She thinks it’s okay for white people to use the word “Nigger” with no repercussion John Mayer thought is was cool … so did Michael Richards, Dog the Bounty Hunter and so it goes … and they all said the same thing…” The problem is “some” white people think that now that “some” black people, myself included… have taken a term, turned it around to be somewhat endearing… that it’s cool if they now use it… casually. I use the word onstage and it makes “some” folks … black and white… a bit uncomfortable… as if they’ve never hear it before, and they probably haven’t … sitting next to each other… although I believe that “some” may have never said it… black or white. Poking fun at a stereotype is just that, cause people, cultures all vary in tradition. I don’t tell “Nigger Jokes”… big difference. “Some” black comedians use it every third word… One night a white audience member who obviously liked my show walked up to me outside and said “You know, they’re putting Obama’s picture on a Christmas ornament … cause it’s finally cool to hang a “Nigger” from a tree”… People standing there were shocked … he was the only one laughing his buddy looked at him like he was insane … and to get away from what he probably thought could potentially be ground zero, he briskly walked off… and I didn’t crack a smile… I turned to this clown and calmly said ” you missed the whole point of my show man…. I use the word onstage… I don’t tell “Nigger jokes”. The guy stood there looking confused… and actually said “well… y’all use it !”… and I said “because we can…” He kinda walked away and his buddy actually came back and apologized.I told his friend that I appreciated it, to which he replied “Some people just don’t get it.”

Oh yeah then there’s that argument that really is a difference in “Nigger” and “Nigga” … nope … there really isn’t.

One of my favorite jokes anyone does is by a white comedian Eddie Gossling, I worked with him years ago and he does a joke about how he likes rap music but it has, and I’m quoting him, the “N”Word in a lot of songs… one of his set up lines is “white people we can’t use it anymore… seems we got a little bossy with it…” Hysterical. He told that joke and got big laughs and he never said the word. Another friend of mine Kerry White tells one about a family member who is racist and uses the word,my good friend Lance Montalto uses it in a joke that makes a very valid point comparing Elvis to Huggy Bear as or looking like pimps. These guys… are making the point to say to audiences just as I do every night, that underneath… we’re more alike than we are different… and to point out the stupidity in those who say otherwise.

See, my problem with people like Dr.Laura who I hear is not really a doctor in the first place… or Richards or Dog or Mayer is that “some” white people … who are old enough… to remember …. what that word originally implied… actually think that now it’s okay. Jackasses… I could say worse but you get the point. I have never liked Schlessinger , not because she said the word “Nigger” 11 times in her show this past week… no I’ve heard her show over the years… I don’t like her cause she’s a rude, snotty, arrogant, pompous, jaded, mean A-hole … same way I don’t like Rush Limbaugh cause he is a buffoon who lives on divisiveness, kinda like Al Sharpton … Kinda the same way I could car less about Glenn Beck cause he’s a clown who is a charismatic moron , kinda like Jesse Jackson. Has nothing to do with the color of their skin… “Some” people are just foolish… no matter what color. Is she a racist? I dunno… and I don’t care… but the way she treats her listeners… ridiculous… and this ain’t the first time she’s pulled this… you may remember her rant on homosexuality… no matter how you or I feel about people gay or not… it’s how you and I feel about people… no matter if they’re Gay,Black, White, Asian, Muslim or Jewish, Fake Dr.Schlessinger… you feel me?

“Some” white people reading this may think I’m showing a double standard… I am … honestly, I really don’t care what anybody thinks… “some” white people should realize that the word “Nigger” just ain’t good coming out of your face… is that your fault? Probably not … “Some” other white folks before you did that .

“Some” black folk may think I should be angry, but I’m really not, sadly I’m not surprised in a way. “Nigger” is part of the lexicon, it had been defined in the dictionary but what are you gonna do? Kinda like the folks at Webster’s was having a meeting one day and somebody says” Man … I was thinking the other day … I sure miss saying “Nigger” so I got an idea… let’s define the word so we can all be “Niggers” , cause my grandson Brandon wants to be a rapper and wants to be a “Nigger” sooooo bad…”Put a moratorium on the word as “Some” jackasses have suggested? Oh, it’s not going anywhere… it’s as American as Apple Pie and Baseball … sad to say. “Some” black folks will be mad when they read what’s next.

Does some of the problem lie with “Some” of “Us” black folk? Did we really give it legs? Did we allow music and movies to get away with it? Did the word become “Hollywood”? I’m not even gonna condemn rap music, cause it’s out there… it’s an art form which I loved more in it’s earlier days but not so much anymore for what it’s become, I’m still a fan of OutKast, Common, T.I., Luda, Goodie Mob and a few others because they to me … have a point … but think about it, what did some us think would happen? The word has little or no weight anymore… and now…. for some white people the “Nigger” coast is clear and it’s sad. We shoulda seen it coming… “Wiggers?… white kids who think they are or want to be or act like they are Black or in other words…………………………………… gotcha.

My message is simple… maybe we all should teach our children and grandchildren what the word meant before it has passed off as “art” or “slang” or …. cool… cause that word … like the rest of us is gonna be here… how we deal with it could determine how long “some” of us will… I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

Global Warming … Whatevuh !!!

Spanky Brown — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 20:57:07 +0000

Is it me or is it really hotter than usual this year ? And didn’t I say that last year ?… and haven’t I said that every year since somebody mentioned the term or the reality if you will that is Global Warming? All I know is my ass is HOT !!! Other day I bought some Kingsford Charcoal to do some grilling … it lit before I got to the car. I think we’re moving closer to the sun and nobody want’s to give us the bad news yet … they’ll do it all slick like to ya know ? Probably right after the weather … ” that warming trend will continue through the weekend cause of a high pressure system THAT REALLY IS US MOVING A LIIILL BIT CLOSER TO THE DAMN SUN … should be a cooling trend in a couple of days, Jack what’s happening in sports?” That’s how they do us. I’ll bet you right now this whole thing with that space station, is gonna be hotel rooms for the highest bidder. Who’s in you ask? The usual suspects, Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, Kenny Chesney, Lady Gaga, Madeline Albright, the kid from the Wonder Years, Penny Marshall, Mel Gibson, LeBron James, John McCain, Jay-Z & Beyonce’, The Dougans … all 38 of em’ … Jimmy Buffet, M.Night Shamalama ding-dong, Demi Moore, Brooks and Dunn, Troy Aikman and The WU-Tang Clan … cause they got all the money… don’t ask me about the list or how I know who’s on it … just do something with yo’ life so you can be down.

Crazy thing is that this winter I’ll say the same thing… and you will too. What’s even crazier is that nothing stops… does not matter how rainy, windy, snowy,cold, hot … it’s like we all work for the post office… or live by their slogan anyway. The moon is not an option either … it ain’t even got a beach… no Popeye’s NOTHIN” !!!

My dude Obleezy says we can get to Mars… Ok my man … just cause you tryin’ to get away from your Mother in Law some of us can’t afford that. I think if the weather continues to be so crazy … we should all vote on a climate we can all deal with … either Hot or cold no in between … Antarctica or Africa … personally I vote for Antarctica … no hurricanes or tornadoes …. plus I’d rather be too cold than too hot … you can’t take enough stuff off but you can keep putting on stuff… and face it … unless everybody’s walking around looking like Hallie Berry or that Old Spice dude … I can’t take much of that , neither can you.

Global Warming used to be El Nino’ … right? Then he must have gotten an upgrade or something cause now it is ridiculous. Back in the old days rain would cool everything off… now it’s a sauna. I thought water put out fires, not piss em’ off. All I know is this winter I’m gonna enjoy it… and cold weather is romantic anyway … fireplaces, bear skinned rugs, cocoa, chili, snuggling … natural gas…and not the stinky kind either… and all us black folkls with the cool winter gear can sport it year round … Floor length leather coats, fur hats iso-toners … it’d be like “Shaft” all the time … it’s all good… I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

Haters … Take note … Stop !!!

Spanky Brown — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:32:04 +0000

Haters … you know I love em’. You gotta love em’ bless their hearts … they’re everywhere … I heard an interesting quote from this cat I met yesterday and he was quoting someone else so it was not him, cause he’s pretty cool … but we were talking about people who detract … detractors I think some call em’ … I call em’ Haters but anyway , he said someone said ” Pearl Jam was great before they became like, PEARL JAM ” … but was that not the objective for Pearl Jam? Now I’m not a Pearl Jam fan but a lot of people are and to them I say more power to ya … I’m not a huge rock fan I more like classic rock … matter of fact I’ve said before I’m not good at Guitar Hero … but when they come out with R&B Hero I’m all on it.

Why do some people hate successful people? It seems you cant satisfy some people … now I’m not against preferences… I’m a big guy but I don’t date what’s known these days as “BBW‘s” or Big Beautiful Women … back in my day we called em’ Fat Chicks and that’s wrong. It’s a known fact that in society these days, a Fat Man … like myself … can get away with more than a Fat Woman. Either way … when I see a cat walking around with a lady the size of Albert Haynesworth … I don’t poke fun … I say look at that … maybe he’s a butcher … cause he likes meat… it ain’t my business. They could be saying the same about me, and if they are screw em … I happen to be “Big Boned”… my momma said that… and that I’m pretty.

I want to spread a positive message today … QUIT HATIN’ !!! I think that’s positive. Another thing I would say is DO SOMETHIN’ BOUT YO’ LIFE!!! It’s like folks at a comedy show. People feel a need to keep score. See … on a standard 3 person show you have an opener /MC , someone young in the game , not much experience and is trying to make their way in comedy. Next you have a Feature performer , somebody who truly is an up and comer in the business that is not there yet but you keep a look out for em’ cause they are on the right track and you’re gonna see why in a minute. Then you have your Headliner, they seasoned vet, they person you came to see, the one that no matter what went on before him will make the night payoff. Never fails … someone will walk up to one of us and say ” You were the funniest one tonight” no matter what position I’m in on the show and other comics hear the same. I think it’s all the shows on television now that are in contest form. Whenever, wherever I’m working, I want every performer to do well, I want the patron to enjoy the entire show, it’s good for comedy. Now it does always works out that way but most of the time it does … good , better , best or in other words Ha ha … Haaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa .. Oh My God My Head Hurts From Laughing So Hard !!!! Being judgmental really blows is what I’m saying.

So let’s end the hate … instead of saying ” That…. is one ugly baby” … flip the scrip and say something positive …” Your baby may be the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen … YOU GUYS WIN !!!” That way the parents and the baby get a feeling of distinction, and most people love to be outstanding in their field… even if it’s reproducing something you think you may have seen on X Files. Positive energy … spread the joy … I’m Jus’ Sayin’…

Foolishness … it’s what’s for dinner …

Spanky Brown — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:11:54 +0000

Ok … anybody kept a count of the foolishness is the sporting world lately ? Sports and real life have finally come out in the open as one , why you ask ? I’ll tell you …. CAUSE THEY ALWAYS WERE ONE IN THE SAME !!! Why , you ask again ? Well I’ll tell you again … CAUSE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE !! no matter what their occupation is how good they are at it or how much money they make doing it … AND MOST ARE STUPID !!!

Now I know the old bible adage about ” let him without sin …” I know , Jesus said it and I respect that … and I am not here to do that …. but I am here to point out stupidity … that’s why I am happy , so happy about the First Offenders Act … don’t ask why , it was a long time ago and I was stupid … I ain’t one to try to understand why Tiger cheated on this wife or why Mark McGwire juiced or why in the hell Shawn Rogers decided to board a plane with a loaded gun or why Michael Vick fought dogs or why Serena Williams blew a gasket on that Asian line judge or why Gilbert Arenas has 800 handguns or why the Philadelphia Eagles traded Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins … a team they hafta play against ( I hope he blows they back out too … STUPID ) for that matter how in the hell Jesse James winds up married to Sandra Bullock in the first place …talk about “Blind – Sided” … sorry Sandra … it was right there … the question we all should be asking is …. WHO CARES ?

This (my ) occupation comes with some of that … cause we as people are so consumed with celebrity . I always said to myself … “self … I want to be the best comedian around … with fame .. and a bunch of money …” … I’m not the funniest , not famous , broke as The Ten Commandments … but I’m happy … but I got drama too … I’m sure all the aforementioned people never thought that being the best at what they do would come with such fanfare … why you ask … again ? … fans .

Why we give these people so much credit I have no idea , how much is too much to know ? The Information Age , that’s what it is … that’s why I hate sideline reporters … I don’t need to know that much about the game … not what the coach plans to do , I’d like some suspense sometime you know ? … matter of fact I think the games would be better if both teams had a television in the huddle during a timeout … that’ll kick the coaching and the playing up another notch if everybody knows exactly what everybody is doing … I can see it now … ” Hey Coach … what are we gonna do ? ” … ” I’ll tell you … soon as they quit talking about it ” …. RIDICULOUSNESS !!!

Tiger Woods maybe the greatest golfer … EVER . Now … why he cheats on his girl I can care less about … How he cheats on his girl is a subject I really could care less about cause he obviously ain’t very good at that . I wanna see him do what he does well … and that is golf . How many people do we know who go through the very same stuff … hell how many of us go through it ? I didn’t have reporters outside my house when I almost burned it down … cause I was gonna have BBQ that day I didn’t care how bad it was raining … under my porch … it’s a long story but you know what ? IT … WAS STUPID !!!

All the aforementioned people have drama … just like the people I didn’t mention …. US … cause at the end of the day … all that matters is God , Family , Health , Wealth … and The Real Housewives of WHATEVER CITY !!! … cause that’s ALL real … I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

Curling … my new favorite sport …

Spanky Brown — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:12:09 +0000

I was gonna call this entry ” The Winter of My Discontent-Lympics” but I changed my mind … cause I’m diggin’ one aspect of the winter games more than I ever thought I would … See … On this day of days when the big news is not the economy … not the attack in Texas … Not even spring training …Not even Tiger holding an AmWay meeting with his closest friends and family and a couple cameras telling everybody what everybody already knows … it’s The Games of the whatever many years Winter Olympiad … Now … I’m trying to give the Winter Olympics a chance … there are only about 8 or 9 events that are real sports anyways … right ? I can’t even name all of those right now … skiing , snowboarding , hockey , racing on skates … OK I’m done … nope … I forgot my favorite .. Curling … and I ain’t talking about re runs of BeautyShop on B.E.T either … Who the hell thought this was a competition besides the nice people who reside at the Shady Acres Assisted Living Facility ? It is shuffleboard on ice right ? Hell … Swiffer won’t even sponsor it … RIDICULOUSNESS !!! What is the purpose of the game anyway ?I’mma break it all down for you … Spanky-style …

The women don’t strike me as athletes anyway … not a lot of muscle which is fine … one of the American women is even pregnant … amazing !!! that’s why it looks like a housewife sport … all the women look like normal , everyday … pregnant … they use housewife tools … a pot and a swiffer …some guys would say “that’s how it oughta be dammit ” … to you I say ” BOOO SIR … BOO “ … but one woman throws the pot while the other two women … “swiff” to make it go further and if the “skip” or pitcher puts too much on … the the opposing team of women … “swiff ” some more to make it go even further ……. I think … to knock it .. the pot or “stone” off of the bulls eye … and they earn points as well

Now I know men compete in this … sport … too … but the women fascinate me … cause women fascinate me anyway … and they’re better at it and I think it’s great !!! Who knew that chores could ever be an Olympic sport ? Not me … and not you either … So every woman reading this can be an Olympian … and most of the men reading this really … WANTS YOU TO GET AS MUCH PRACTICE IN AS YOU CAN … If you got hardwood …. floors in your house that is … perfect …

I guess the criteria .. to be on the team … is a clean house … frankly , I wouldn’t want anybody on the team who has a house full of dust bunnies … that would mean someone has not been practicing … so ladies … PRACTICE … you too can be an Olympian … as well as domesticated … I’m Jus’ Sayin …

People are AMAZING …

Spanky Brown — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:16:06 +0000

and honestly nothing they do really surprises me . Our Radio show … The Spanky Brown Morning Show got pulled last Friday … new owner .. who is not a fan and we kinda knew that , came in , after all of one day and said pretty much ” well , we gotta go in a different direction , ESPN is putting pressure on me to play more of their programming … sorry ” .

Now … we knew it was B.S … and he was convincing … kinda … but honestly … lesse … front page of Knoxville’s Metro Pulse … two weeks later made me on of The 10 Most Fascinating Knoxvillians of ’09 … last week I interview on WATE Channel 6 about the whole Lane Kiffin thing … and I have another requset for a Television interview … AND YOU PULL THE SHOW ?! …

I was told by a club owner once ” it ain’t what I like , it’s what they ( the audience) like … if they want to see flies doin it … (and doin it is not what he said ) then it’s my job to find the flies …” I get it and he’s right … and we were the flies … seems to me .

Just another example of the wrong people with money … but don’t worry … I think we’ll be back bigger and better …. and blacker than ever . You can’t stop the shinin’ … I’m so sold on the concept of comedians talking sports that I’m all over the possibilities of another , bigger …. smarter station and as soon as I can find that person(s) … we’ll be back on .

At some point we gotta see what’s better than quantity is quality … just because a comedian is famous does not mean he’s the funniest … by the same token how many experts have you been told were experts … only to disagree and often to be proven right … I hate sheep … followers … people will drink sand instead of water , not because their thirsty … but because they’ve been told they have to , for there is nothing else …

Change is tough on most people … they get so caught up in what’s right they lose sight of what’s stupid … I’m not calling this guy stupid … just maybe ……… ok he’s stupid but my point is … new ideas happen all the time and I hope more people open up their minds and think … about all the stuff you said you’d never do …” I’ll never pay $5 for cigarettes ” , ” I’ll never pay over $2 a gallon for gas ” … ” Bottled water ?! ” … ” Air for my tires ?!? ” … ” Who would watch a channel about weather all damn day ? ” … I said all that … and now I do all that …

My guys and I struck a nerve … and I’m not giving up on it … so hang in folks … we’ll be back …

You can’t stop Spanky …. you can only hope to contain him … I’m Jus’ Sayin” …

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y’ALL !!!

Spanky Brown — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:23:10 +0000

… and I hope you get everything you want and need in this brand new year … I mean , it’s all I can say because the world ends in 2 years so I’m trying to get it together … and so should you … so this is a Ben Franklin type of entry today , you know a good news / bad news thing I’m going for here to let you know that things ain’t ever as bad as they seem … for instance :

The Good News is I don’t have the H1N1 virus … The bad news is I do have the HNIC virus and that’s why I tend to let people know they get on my nerves but it’s gonna be alright …

The Good News is I do NOT … blow my drawers up … Bad News is the guy who did somehow keeps getting em up on CNN …

Good News is the Tiger Woods thing seems to be dying down and I think we’re all happy … Bad News is he’s on the front of Vanity Fair this week BUTT-NAKED … who’s idea was this ?!?

The Good News is The United States owes China EVERYTHING … Bad News is as long as we owe em , not only will they never be broke … but they can mess around and get they ass blowed up trying to call us on it … so chill China …

Good News My radio show is hot … Bad News is I’m so broke I bounced a money order yesterday but it’s gonna be alright …

So you see , when you think it’s so bad … somebody else has got it worse than you … like the other day … my truck is in repo status …. then it breaks down and I had enough money for one … I did the responsible thing … wait a minute , some of you are saying ” the responsible thing was to pay the damn bill ” and you’re right … problem is I shifted careers and my dilemma was this .. if I don’t do my show and do the road my show suffers … if I do the road and deal with some of … and I do mean some of these douchebag club owners and comedy bookers then I suffer … so I decided to pay my car payment and not fix it first … why fix a car you can’t find the next day ? See … I’m doin better already this year …

So … The Good News is I paid my truck payment and got my truck back thanx to the help of a good , good friend … Good News is I got 27 more payments and at least 15 more good , good friends … Bad News is somebody is gonna double dip but they love me and it’s gonna be ok … and so will you … so will we all … I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …

Tiger !!! Get in the DAMN BED !!!!

Spanky Brown — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:21:35 +0000

… maybe get outta the bed would be appropriate . Dang Tiger !!! 10 and counting last I … rather when I stopped counting . Really … is anybody really shocked ? Surprised ? Appalled ? Gonna stop watching him play ? Probably not … sensible people anyway . C’mon … a lot of celebrities cheat , fool around … why because they can ! Why do we even care ? Cause the media tells us we should .

Charles Barkley said it best … ” I am NOT a role model ” … and he proved that later on . There’s a bar I frequent in Knoxville that sits between a Waffle House and a Porno Shop … cause I got class … but the bar is a cool place , but one day I’m walking in and some …. Evangelist … is parked in the center turning lane in a …. box van … a truck with a box on the back … a big box , bout the size of a U-haul truck …. with a mural on all sides … of the Devil … THE DAMN DEVIL !!! Horns , no shirt and the lower half of a horse … like Alex Rodriguez … telling You , Me and everybody looking at him , with a menacing look …. ” Repent …. or burn forever …. and he is screaming at the top of his lungs at the Porno shop … NOT THE WAFFLE HOUSE LIKE HE SHOULDA BEEN !!! … now … I LOVE the Waffle House , but you know you want to send em to hell too sometimes after you eat there … no , he’s yelling … preaching … fire and brimstone …. at the lowly Porno shop …

When will people realize there are so may screwed up people in the world … If people want to sell porn … let em … more stupid , if people are still PAYING FOR PORN … when it’s free everywhere … let em … just take care of you and yours …

My buddy Matt Davis said to me one time over a drink or 39 … ” the first amendment not only protects your right to free speech … but everybody’s right to free speech ” … or something like that but I understand it … really …

When people screw up , you know why they do it ? Cause their People … plain and simple … Tiger didn’t make a mistake … he made bad choices … at least he wore a condom … OVER HIS FACE !!!! especially with a couple of em … you seen these heffers ? OK … MAYBE 8 of em’ … compared to his wife ? …. ehhhhhh ? …. worth all of this ? NO ! One looks like Lyle Alzado with a wig on … I’m more angry about that … they should have all been 10′s … YOU’RE TIGER FRIGGIN’ WOODS … DAMMIT !!! Great golfer … bad cheater … I would have more respect for him if he’d gotten caught on that stupid television show … that would have been must see tv … Elin and 37 cameras and that “joey ” guy in the leather jacket busting up in a clubhouse on a golf course somewhere …” Tiger … who is this B**** ?!?! … is THIS what you want ? Over me ? I heard on the news I was the #1 white woman in the world !!!

No one should be stunned , or swear quit watching him play golf , or tell your kids Tiger is not the greatest golfer most of us have ever and probably will ever see cause he’s been unfaithful … a few times … a lot … ok he’s just nasty … he’s a golfer , not the Messiah . Messy yes … but not the Messiah … I’m Jus’ Sayin’ …